The Heero Vs Saga
by Sharnay
Summary: What happens when Duo drags Heero along for a bunch of crazy times? A mini series by moi!
1. Default Chapter

Hey Everyone, I'm back with a quick, one shot deal just for kicks. I got the idea for this earlier this week while watching this illusionist who came to our high school. What he did was show us how to escape from a straight jacket and the only thing my friends and I could picture while he was doing it was Heero, stuck in a straight jacket, trying desperately to escape. This is gonna be pretty short, and maybe not that great since I'm really bored right now, but I hope I can at least make somebody out there laugh.  
  
^_^ Sharnay  
  
TITLE: Heero Vs. The Straight Jacket  
  
BY: Sharnay  
  
RATING: PG  
  
PAIRINGS: 1x2 1x a straightjacket (hee hee...) then Quatre's in there too, but I don't know who he pairs up with...  
  
WARNINGS: Nothing really. just a lot of stupidity and Heero acts slightly out of character.  
  
Here we go...  
I hope this works...  
  
Duo was rolling around on the floor in hysterics, watching Heero fight to get out of the straightjacket. Heero had been dumb enough to make a bet with Duo and he had lost, thus he was enduring his punnishment. God only knows where or how the braided pilot had gotten his hands on a straightjacket, but somehow he had and the outcome was to Heero's demise.  
  
Even though Heero wanted so badly to punch Duo in the face for cheating at the game, a bet was a bet and he was holding up his end of the bargin no matter what. But as soon as he found his way out of that thing.... He swore to himself that he would make Duo pay.   
  
"Awww, c'mon Hee-chan!" Duo taunted mercilessly through bouts of laughter. "The Perfect Soldier can do anything! I thought you would have already been out of that thing!"  
  
Heero chose to ignore Duo's comments. He realized that after he had been rolling around on the floor, trying to pull his arms out of his sleeves that it had all been wasted time. Somehow he had to get his arm up over his head so he could get the buckle in the front. Then he didn't know what he was going to do to get out of this pathetic trap. He would get out though. The idea of getting Duo as a major payback was initiative enough to get out of this thing. He would have even laughed if he wasn't so extremely agitaded with the pilot.  
  
"You'll get yours in time, Duo," Heero treatened dryly, fidgiting with his arms in a hopeless attempt.  
  
"Yeah... okay Heero! Whatever you say!" Duo exclaimed sarcastically and sat up to get a better view of what was going on.  
  
At that moment, Quatre came walking into the room with a glass of water and gasped when he saw the pathetic sight of Heero lying helplessly on the ground. Duo laughed even harder at Quatre's reaction, especially when the blonde arab exclaimed, "Heero! Don't worry, I'll help you!" in a rather girly shriek.  
  
"Oh no you won't Quat!" Duo laughed. "I wouldn't touch him if I were you! The first person he can reach as soon as he gets out of that thing is gonna end up with a nasty black eye."  
  
"But Duo! We have to help him! And how on earth did he end up in a straightjacket, nevermind where did he get one! You have to let me help him!" Quatre pleaded.  
  
"No I don't. And anyways, he put himself up to this. It isn't my fault the Perfect Soldier was stupid enough to fall into one of my pranks," Duo said passively, shrugging his shoulders and staring down at Heero, who currently was trying to slide his arm over his head.  
  
"Well, Duo, if I were you I'd run," Quatre suggested with a tone in his voice that was crying 'Heero please don't hurt me for not helping you! I am innocent!'.  
  
"Why? It's not like he is going anywhere any time soon." Duo laughed and then taunted Heero some more.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," the blonde said hesitantly.  
  
"Why?" Duo asked.  
  
"Because look at him! He is gonna get out of that really soon."  
  
"What?!" Duo exclaimed, a pathetic tone of fear cracking in his voice.  
  
Quatre was right. Heero was working on getting his arm over his head. As soon as he did that he would be able to undo the buckle... then he could slip out of that thing and get the 02 pilot.  
  
"Uh oh!"  
  
"Duo, I highly suggest you run," Heero said with a tone of sick pleasure in his voice. "Because if you don't... hn. You are mine."  
  
Duo let out a minor yelp of fear but didn't move. Heero almost had his arm over his head! Duo was screwed. Any minute now he'd-  
  
"Ha Ha!!!" Duo exclaimed, flinging his arm out and breaking into a new fit of hysterics as he pointed at Heero.  
  
"Oh no!" Quatre exclaimed. "Now we really have to help him!"  
  
"Oh no we don't!" the braided one said cockily, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Hmmshmmooonfffaggggashhhnnafffagmooof!" Heero shouted into his arm. He had gotten his head stuck while he tried to pull it out, and there was no way he was getting out any time in the near future. He shouted out more threats though they all came out as muffled jibberish. Duo was loving every second of it.  
  
"That's it," Quatre said finally, going to Heero and pulling on his arm.  
  
"NO!" Duo shrieked after him and began trying to shove Quatre away.  
  
So that is how the scene played out for the next few minutes: Quatre trying to get Heero's head un-stuck while at the same time trying to fend off an attack from Duo, who desperately wanted to keep the blonde from succeeding in his mission. More muffled screams and shouts would come from Heero whenever Quatre would pull his arm in a direction it wasn't meant to bend and then 04 would apologize profusely seeming almost near to tears at the thought of hurting one of his friends. After a few minutes Duo got bored and went and sat back on the couch to laugh at the scene playing out before him.  
  
After a few more minutes Quatre gave up, realizing he may have been hurting Heero more than he was helping him and went and joined Duo, only the whole time he was looking quite worried and every now and then he would say something like, "Duo, how could you?" or "Is he going to be okay?" or "Heero, I wish I could help you. I really do! Don't hate me!"  
  
More muffled words would sound throughout the room, though nobody could understand what he was saying until Heero finally suceeded and got his head un-stuck. He had sucessfully slid his arm over his head and was currently reaching behind his head to undo the first buckle when Duo realized what was going on.  
  
He was mid-laugh but went dead silent when he saw Heero get the first buckle undone. Then he grabbed Quatre's arm tightly when their fellow pilot began squirming out of the jacket.  
  
"Good for you Heero!" Quatre cheered him on. "I knew you could do it!"  
  
"NOOOOO!!" Duo shrieked again as he jumped up from the couch and fled from the room at a full run.  
  
Heero then slid from the jacket triumphantly and with a cry of, "Omea o kurusu!", flew after the braided pilot.  
  
Quatre left the room, not wanting to see the scene play out and as he was going up the stairs he could hear Duo's pathetic cries for help. Heero had gotten him.  
  
**-**-**-**-**-**-**  
  
Two Hours Later  
  
Duo walked into the living room with a bag of ice on his face. Heero's payback had hurt, just like he had promised. When the braided pilot plopped down on the couch, he noted that the jacket was gone, and assumed that Quatre had gotten rid of it. Just like him to spoil all the fun, he thought to himself through a throbbing head.  
  
Then before he knew it Heero pounced on him from behind the couch and pinned him to the ground. Duo shouted pathetically for help that he knew wouldn't come when he saw Wufei come into the room, holding something over his arm.   
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!" Duo screamed for the hundredth time of the day as Wufei shoved him into the straightjacket and clasped it shut.  
  
"Hn." Heero looked at Duo with a wry grin as the other pilot sat with a frown upon his face on the floor. "How do you like it, Maxwell?"  
  
"I could get out of this thing if I really wanted to ya know!" Duo whined and made a pouty face, like a three year old.  
  
"Right." With that Heero got up and left the room with a feeling of utter triumph, taking great joy in the pathetic whines and cries of Duo that followed him out of the room. "Teaches you a lesson baka. Hn. No one messes with Heero Yuy."  
  
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That's all! I hope ya liked it!  
  
^_^ Sharnay 


	2. Heero Vs Gym Class

The Heero Vs. Saga  
  
Heere Vs. Gym Class  
  
Sharnay  
  
PG-13  
  
I do not own Gundam Wing  
  
You know what, I have decided since you all liked Heere Vs. The Straightjacket so much, that I would continue with this little idea I have been toying with. I am making a mini series out of this where Heero is to verse such pathetic and horrifying things as the gym teacher, being locked in a closet with Duo, being trapped in a Porta Potty, stealing an ice cream truck and other such nonsense. So I hope you enjoy this installment of the Heero Vs. Saga!!!!  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ __ Heero Vs. Gym Class  
  
"Okay class!" Mr. Brault, the enourmous, huge, extremely tall gym teacher shouted to get everyone's attention.  
  
Duo looked over at Heero, who was currently fixated with a speck of something on the floor in front of him. "Hey Heero," he whispered, "this isn't so bad, now is it?"  
  
Heero ignored him, still a little peeved with the earlier straightjacket incident.  
  
"Everyone listening?" Mr. Brault bellowed again. The class nodded and stopped figiting where they stood. "Today, we're going to take it easy. We're playing tag."  
  
Duo snorted back a laugh and crossed his arms while the teacher ensued upon telling the class who was it and that, "No Marty, you can't 'tag' them in the face."  
  
"This should be so easy. I'm glad I didn't cut today," Duo said, almost with a sick look of pleasure on his face. "We can run faster and longer than any of these kids can, even that little track boy Matt, right Heero?"  
  
Heero looked over at Duo, a blank expression on his face. "What is, 'tag'?"  
  
Duo nearly hit the ground on that one. "Are you serious, or is this just some stupid ploy so you get a reason to punch me in the face?"  
  
"I'm serious. What is tag?"  
  
Obnoxious laughter broke out from Duo as he looked at the confused pilot. "Ha ha! Heero doesn't know how to play tag!" he would have continued shouting this to the class had it not been for the good hard smack Heero gave to the braided pilot.  
  
"Owww!! Hee-chan! What was that for?" Whined the boy, rubbing at the back of his head.  
  
"Shut up and explain to me, what is tag?" Heero gave quite a nasty glare, which in turn inspired Duo to tell him the rules and not to poke any further fun at the deprived boy.  
  
"That's all?" Heero asked to clarify. "You simply run away from the one called, IT and if you are IT, you try to make the others IT and chase them down?"  
  
"Yeah... I suppose," Duo answered, scratching the back of his head.  
  
"And then when you catch them, you give them a good hit and tell them that they are IT?"  
  
"Uh... yeah... Only you don't really hit them. You tag them like this." With his words, Duo reached out and tapped Heero on the shoulder.  
  
"Oh. Like this?" Heero hit Duo again in the back of the head and walked off to the rest of the class muttering curses at the other pilot under his breath, while the braided boy stood there looking dumb and rubbing his head.  
  
By the end of the game, Heero had successfully nabbed each kid who had tagged him, and threatened them in more than one way. Duo just shook his head and decided to ignore this.  
  
Next up on the list of things to do was dodgeball. Heero had no idea what this was either. From earlier experiences, Duo decided not to make fun of heero and just explain what to do. he secretly decided to nail that Mickey kid extra hard too, the stupid jock.  
  
After the game began, Heero became one of the most avoided players in dodgeball. Some unsuspecting kid threw the ball at the pilot and accidentally nailed him in the back of the head.  
  
Duo stood off to the side, laughing. He was enjoying this a little too much.  
  
Heero picked the orange rubber ball off of the wooden floor and flew after the kid who hit him. "And did you honestly think you could get away with that?" Heero shouted, forcing the ball down the kids throat.  
  
"Heero!"Duo shouted. "Don't do that!"  
  
"Why? He attacked me."  
  
"Don't you remember what I told you? It is part of the game."  
  
After three more such incidents, Heero was thrown out of class and sent on down to the princible, all because the teacher caught him trying to choke Duo with his braid.  
  
"What a shame I failed," he muttered to himself, going along down the hall. "And Maxwell better run. He'll get his soon enough. Again..."  
  
With an uncharacteristic laugh the chocolate haired boy marched off down the hall, plotting his payback for a second time.  
  
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I know it wasn't anything much, but I hope it was enough to get you to laugh. There will be more of these coming your way, so please send me review of what you think, and if you have any ideas for what Heero can verse in future episodes, I would love to hear them.  
  
Sharnay ^_^ 


End file.
